1. |
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why does it have to remind me of a new home built of dust
the leopard in the basement that makes guests assume things
the desert is blowing up
and if i fall asleep tonight, my limbs will twitch with a dream of a better me
it aches to become me my muscles are twitching shut
the puce of the comfort thats streams bloody mucus, looking at my eyeballs meniscus so long that its stupid, in fantasy getting rid of parts that are wrapping for the gore that becomes me when no one is laughing, the drone in the bedroom never lessens in fervor, in a house built on mars in the sand for a pervert, above the door that holds oxygen that I’m breathing, is cast of an animal kept in permanent breeding
why does the sand have to blind me, why can’t i grow while I’m growing up
liquidated potential looks more and more like I’ve thrown it up
why is the home always stupid, where the heart lays with and becomes scuffed
the parts of my wrapping look more and more like a part thats rough
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2. |
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special sweet, i will never forget our love, i will always remember your form in red clothing
secret squeam, i will never go back to there, i will always just serve as a comfort beside it
the gold guided nature of the heart that you wear you have within an enclosure, reaching out to feel it barely touching my hand
my fist feels like adam, elated in stasis
the juxtaposition of a shelf in the corner my view is obscured save for top of your head
even as inanimate object i will always see u as a defunct protector
sacred dream, i will never forget your love, i will always remember the place held inside it
sleepless speech, i can never speak what it means, it is always averse to a humbler meaning
special speech, my mouth moves like it feels
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3. |
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space is the place to drain the duct, my will dissolve and dissipate into an alien life form
looking back at earth i make a point to be clever, my lever that erupts and blows up the whole world
telling the moon dust it is a paradise nightmare, the rover and the footprints as my only two friends
filling the holes with my expanding saliva, when the hole is gone there will be nothing to tend
and thats when peace can start
and that when my body will sink into the ether
i can drown the hole
see how the thought makes me salivate
the moon is so vacant i must spit for forever my organs all shrivel into vacuum sealed sacks
i breathe in the soft flakes and take one step closer, a mild emphysema as the sign of a friend
the hold that it has on me phlegmatic and tiding, the axe of my old self to grind on a dead earth
thinking a while about the sound of the vacuum, of my fluid forever as the core of the moon
the thought surrounds me i just can’t let it go, like the old dead flesh it phases in and out expanding low
the stench is glowing i think ill let it grow, the old sad sack of meat and skin i had once now is snow
to moon is sacred, to become the thing you know, the last rip test from the gravity mesh as you float up from the bow
the arc transcends me it i just can’t let it go, to me the man on the moon who mistook a balloon for the fun he had below
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4. |
Wetboy
01:48
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wet boy you are a coma of warmth you are an absolute freak to me
the way you swing your meat and fall in love with the seat that loves you just the way you are
moisture that wicks from your bottom, the sweet the sweet the squeeze
fiction that held you separate from sodom, the salt, the fault, the seed
i love you just way you are
i don’t care about repulsive misfunction
my sweet you smell like stink
it makes me think what we have was real
wet boy you are freak in the sheets but a gentlemen on the beach
the way the water beats on you finely placed teeth that lay you bare in oceans heart
the oil slick that seeps from your steeping, the grease the funk the steeze
a kindness that keeps the heart beating a sign, a loss, malfeased
i love you just the way you are
i don’t care that you are losing your function
my boy you are so sweet it makes me think
what you had was real
i’ll always love you for the thing you are
i don’t care if your heart no longer functions
oh mercy please be sweet
the ocean goes slow as a monster
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5. |
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i just can’t wait to be honest today, the shadows grow up so fast, something makes shit last
the cloudless sky as mother icarus as son, the soft blanket of peace looks like your face
I just can’t wait to feel the tension break, the pressure of the earnesty, breaking up with matter
i just can’t wait to see your glowing place, your soul ascend forever your
ozone coat the world
i just can’t wait to show you how it fades, the steam could never last, the night is just off black
drop in height as comfort, icarus has won, the feel of ocean swallowing your grace
I just can’t wait to feel the tension break, the pleasure in the honesty, seeing self as such
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6. |
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why do I have bugs in my head
all subtle linguistic meaning is blurred upon a fabric
that’s worn like a walking nouveau
the pretense of the weaver in an object for the eating
it has never been that different, its just a change in actualizing.
all beasts grow to have two separate heads,
one that lives on softly
and one that loudly rakes its flesh
switching between portions
to finally cull the rest,
my mind is open
i finally feel
free
at last
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7. |
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i can grow into the soil
and split into pieces be planted as cutting
while like a worm with a thousand hearts i can aerate my hovel to be shelter and eating
while the bird that thrives on me feeds the gosling my pieces as i turn into sheathing
it is the bird that holds the peace, to just take from the system and keep the wheels rolling
the bird is so like me I’m just growing and eating to keep my heart beating
the abstract shape of the jay’s fallen young
as it rots into sidewalk my branches become numb
the organ and iron that fuse with my carbon
the darkened spot that the rotted bird gave um
a piece of the self thats been processed by others
indistinct from the part that once loved her
i continue to branch into some deeper fabric that sucks at my roots
just another new habit i guess
i can rot into the soil
and try to resurface the face of a lost twin
it spins in my stomach to be birthed in my refuse
to replace me as cancer in some broken half circle
like a rot of the system i wither to fungus, my muscles my tendons are losing their tension
the bird thats so like me holding flame to its feathers seeking kind of affection
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8. |
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you can't love a horse if you don’t let yourself
run like an animal to feel as the beast does
the wind feels like vomit attacking your breathing,
to fully run towards storm as a way to escape it
turn eyes inside yourself look at you beastial heart and the blue gunk its bleeding
your organs are precipice between a part that you know and a thing you could be
its not real reflection to just look at yourself
your skin on the outside as signs underneath it
the shards of the mirror that show you some true parts
to dig in your skin with the eyes of a friend
turn eyes inside yourself look at you beastial heart and the blue gunk its bleeding
your organs are precipice between a part that you know and a thing you could be
the nature of confidence bottled inside a lung and the breath that is beating
you marrow that lifts the blood between a self that you are and the beast that you see
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9. |
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layered in sky separating in anxiety, the launch is slow the fuel is cold, the heat pierces through the side of the language of parts of labor dissecting the hole
all my life I’ve turned into crude oil, the pressure turning my sensing parts numb, mashed into you but bisected by foil, my heat emanating into your lungs
but to be with you in the womb, separated part of the other inside it now,
the tensile strength of vocal chords stretched from the space between mouth and adherence, baby said goodbye from the shuttle tonight she screamed so loud her ears started bleeding
sublime in a particle, leaking the silvery scent of emission and healing
breaking the tension the surface is placid with rock or the tank perforating in fervor
the well of obsession with judith in furs as she enters the freedom of going to azure or
lingering pressure she floats like a buoy the arm is in texas the rest is just liquid
the memory of finally spelling it right for the first time relived into the missing
to be with you in the womb, the distance is so much in between molecules
the tensile strength of a loving heart stretched between space touching thousands of infants
baby tried to sleep in the cosmos tonight, she tried so hard but she slept in the mantle
sublime in the lack of light that showed through the trial exposed to a candle
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10. |
A Peace Goes on Tonight
01:38
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even as your voice floats soft away, the imprint of taper of tabor the mountain of helen the mountain of climbing the mountain of killing the mountain
peace lost on tonight, the better the savior, the laughters not right, the more saved the wretch is
even as the page that marks the day turns to ash with the flower that marked today as the only living thing
a tension hold the mountain drills through mountain owns the mountain, wrestling the dirt that slips away the fight keeps on fighting
the peace goes on tonight, i am too tired to battle a mountain, the disease is it it ill just let the wind take it
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11. |
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touching you
in the soft light of the moon the white gets dim forever, feeling space all dejection in its place
the drift of growing limbs that grasp out trying for the other
taking off, fucking up, burning out, burning up
the faulty insulation caves and self is raw to sky
it’s not enough, the challengers white remnant haunts tonight
it’s touching you
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12. |
Fear Demon
01:33
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keep it on a shelf it's doing just fine
even in your perfect slime I’m alright
nothings gotten closer to a real life
i can be a shoulder for you just tonight
solving every feature as a fraction of a shell
the self is just a fortress in a wonderful hell
sharing all your secrets transmitting tonight
hoping after airing that you’re feeling alright
why don’t you help me with my own demons
they’re large and scary and shaped like a person
why when you say sorry does it sound like a grievance
its humble and surfaced it feels like an urchin
keep it to yourself you are doing just fine
in some new broken light I’m looking alright
i just can’t see myself as some white knight
i just doubt every comfort that you hold tight
sorry for my mind its just losing some time
i keep leaving the stove on like all night
our house will go to heaven and you will die right
i don’t want to make mistakes please don’t start fights
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13. |
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yellow breaks the day, the detritus fill the sky again.
the part that goes to waste, the tops of bottles renewed as a living thing \
why don’t you send me a christmas card and we’ll feel better about the ways we’ve grown apart
love is a breathing thing
we let ours starve
the steel that straightens me up is caving its time to make peace with a begotten craving
thank heaven for the rain
the launch a quiet perfect time to see what we forgot
the body turns to flame, the fingertips of god revisit a painless dream
why don’t you send me a perfect arm and i’ll feel better about the ways that i fall apart
blood is a breathing thing we let ours dart
the fuel that you transmute from me to your spaceship is not a sign that i hated or loved it
it’s just a sign that i wanted you to breathe too
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you beside me while i have a heart attack Boston, Massachusetts
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